Funny convo I found on the net

Hey guys, found this conversation on one of those websites that posts funny/dumb conversations that happen on the net. Thought I might share because I think you guys would find it hilarious as well.

[16:05] bro#1: need to find the answer to min arg {caloris} given a level of drunkenness

[16:06] bro#2: first comment on that matter that the internet had for me

[16:06] bro#2: windsurf83

07-16-2006, 03:00 PM

drink beer with a straw, not sure if it is more healthy but it gets you fucked up faster because you take in less oxygen.

[16:06] bro#1: hmm

[16:06] bro#1: wonder if thats true

[16:06] bro#2: the response

[16:06] bro#2: Carbon Copy

07-16-2006, 03:09 PM

Yeah, but you also risk looking like a serious pussy.

thats what i was thinking. id rather be chubby than look like a pussy. i look like one already

[16:07] bro#1: i dont wantt olook chubby

[16:07] bro#2: tortoise

07-16-2006, 03:23 PM

for beer, highest amount of alcohol per calorie is miller light.

we determined this before going to DMB this summer because my gf wanted to get drunk but stay as close to her diet as possible.

but liquor has a much, much higher amount of alcohol per calorie and is far prefered if you don't mind drinking liquor. Bacardi Rum has the least calories that I know of.

[16:07] bro#1: i was

[16:07] bro#2: some great comments

[16:07] bro#2: really?

[16:07] bro#2: yo skinny ass?

[16:07] bro#1: not fat by any means

[16:08] bro#1: maybe birth

[16:08] bro#1: something like that

[16:08] bro#2: ok well most kids are

[16:08] bro#2: conensus seems to be plain alcohol with diet soda

[16:09] bro#1: aight

[16:09] bro#1: soda is purely for taste i assume

[16:09] bro#1: as extra calories with 0 alchy

[16:09] bro#2: ya well if u can just drink the liquor by itsel thats better

[16:09] bro#2: but thats generally gross

[16:10] bro#2: unless ur trying to spend $ which is dumb

[16:10] bro#1: i wonder what the equation to minimize is then

[16:10] bro#1: want to minimize both dollar and calories

[16:11] bro#2: and max taste

[16:11] bro#1: i would heavily discount that variable

[16:11] bro#2: id say diet cherry coke with the cheapest rum per alcohol u can find

[16:11] bro#1: but something like that yes

[16:11] bro#2: coke when purhcase in 2 liters is nearly free

[16:12] bro#2: get a handle of cheap rum for what $20?

[16:12] bro#2: handle = 40 shots?

[16:12] bro#1: need ~ 4 shots to get drunk prolly

[16:12] bro#2: na

[16:12] bro#2: more

[16:12] bro#1: more?

[16:13] bro#1: well dayumm

[16:13] bro#2: i was going to say 7-8

[16:13] bro#1: dahhhhh

[16:13] bro#1: hell no

[16:13] bro#2: to tie on a legit buzz

[16:13] bro#1: no way man

[16:13] bro#1: not me

[16:13] bro#1: cant tell if youre jokin

[16:13] bro#2: (my last 6 google searches are real sick)

[16:13] bro#1: dont think ive ever taken 7-8 shots

[16:13] bro#2: "how many shots in a handle"

[16:13] bro#2: "least calories to get drunk"

[16:13] bro#2: "how many shots does it take to get drunk"

[16:13] bro#2: shot approx = 1 beer

[16:14] bro#1: nice

[16:14] bro#1: what kind of beer

[16:14] bro#1: because a legit beer, prolly 5 get me drunk

[16:14] bro#2: 4 beers would not be near drunk

[16:14] bro#1: given relatively empty stomach

[16:14] bro#1: yearrhhhh yer a real bro!!!

[16:14] bro#2: of course depends on speed consumed

[16:15] bro#2: 5 beers drank fast maybe yea

[16:15] bro#2: 5 over the course of like 2-3 hours, hell no

[16:15] bro#1: if i have relatively empty stomach (which i have done last many times i have drank in order to sae money) and have 5 shots in ~ an hour, im drunk

[16:15] bro#2: lets say 6 shots to get drunk

[16:15] bro#1: probably couldnt even do that many in an hour

[16:15] bro#1: okay

[16:16] bro#1: (also been going to the gym and getting more muscle mass, not sure how that effects the analysis)

[16:19] bro#2: 6 in an hour would be a lot

[16:19] bro#2: im thinking a more standard 1.5 to 2 hour period

[16:19] bro#2: nice bro

[16:20] bro#1: okay

[16:20] bro#1: and optimal drink is rum + ?

[16:20] bro#2: no i dont know what optimal drink is. not a consensus

[16:20] bro#2: but a handle could reasonably get 6 bros fucked up

[16:20] bro#1: i mean yeah of course

[16:20] bro#2: $20 + $2 coke = $22/6 = < $4!!

[16:21] bro#2: i avctually dont knwo what a handle costs

[16:21] bro#2: cpt morgans $23.99 + tax

[16:21] bro#2: research gives range of about $17-25

[16:22] bro#2: so id say u could get a crew of bros drunk for $4 each

[16:22] bro#2: which u could do with 2 40s as well i guess

[16:22] bro#1: dat option needs to be explored more often

[16:22] bro#2: little cheaper

[16:22] bro#2: lot less gross

[16:22] bro#2: but yes

[16:22] bro#1: less bloaded

[16:22] bro#2: should always buy handles

[16:22] bro#1: bloated

[16:22] bro#2: over 30 packs

[16:22] bro#1: lot less calories!!??!?

[16:22] bro#2: eh not a lot less

[16:22] bro#2: but more alcohol for little less

[16:23] bro#2: guess 36 pack of coors at costco is like $25

[16:23] bro#2: that might be cheaper

[16:23] bro#2: theres no reason to ever spend more than $5 to get drunk

[16:28] bro#1: not alot less calories?

[16:29] bro#2: na. 1 beer has approx same amt of calories as a shot. a little more

[16:30] bro#2: Regular Beer: 150 calories

Light Beer: 116 calories

Ale: 126 calories

Stout: 178 calories

[16:30] bro#2: Brandy / 80 Proof Gin, Vodka, Whiskey etc.: 98 calories

86 Proof Gin, Vodka, Whiskey etc.: 105 calories

90 Proof Gin, Vodka, Whiskey etc.: 111 calories

94 Proof Gin, Vodka, Whiskey etc.: 116 calories

100 Proof Gin, Vodka, Whiskey etc.: 125 calories

[16:31] bro#1: damn

[16:31] bro#1: rum?

[16:31] bro#1: thought the idea was to min calories.. thought it was an easy call..

[16:31] bro#2: sam shit

[16:32] bro#2: easy call?

[16:35] bro#1: thought you were saying that liquor is a better bet for the calories

[16:35] bro#2: oh. its slightly better but nothing grea

[16:35] bro#2: t

[16:37] bro#1: okay

[16:37] bro#1: anything else you wanna add to the analysis? caveats etc?

[16:38] bro#2: if ur trying to get cut and get drunk, ur probably out of luck. if u want to minimize negative effects of drinking id say go w diet soda and liquor

[16:39] bro#2: but as history has shown, ur commitment to fitness/health is moderate at best, and we can expect ur current body to remain essentially unchanged in the near future

[16:40] bro#1: okay

[16:40] bro#1: cool

[16:40] bro#1: mostly because your analysis yields there are no low hanging fruit to be had here

[16:40] bro#1: healthy/cheap options to gettin gdrunkk appear to have been arbitraged away here

[16:43] bro#2: are there any healthy options disregarding price?

[16:43] bro#2: dont think so

[16:48] bro#2: so should focus on cost effective

[16:48] bro#2: and that involves me buying kirkland brand alcohol this weekend

[16:54] bro#2: what does "numerosity" mean?

[17:01] bro#2: whats your favorite jewish song?