Here's lookin' at you kid....
Why so serious? Mostly because you probably have goals that dictate a certain level of seriousness is a necessary - yet not a sufficient condition for success. Who has dictated what success is and what exactly the expectations for you are? If you do not live up to these expectations will you disappoint others? Family? Friends? People you don't know? No one? I might posit that depending from which one of the aforementioned groups your expectations were borne, will determine both your success and your failure. Directly related is the ability of others to ascertain with some degree of certainty your true talents. Whatever they may be - they largely form the basis for expectations that others will have for you. Expectations from outside are not assigned at random, and at a first approximation are assigned according to underlying ability. The accuracy for which these talents are ascribed largely determines ones ability to realize expectations based on some a priori expectations.
I will briefly address those bear expectations by those they do not know before I address what will more directly relate to my readers. You run a 4.3 fourty. You are 6'7". You got a wicked jump shot. You can slang the crack rock. You've let it be known you scored a perfect score on the SAT. You often opine on matters of national security and reveal that you have a nack for all things political. You have true incite on the inner workings of the ECB. You hit 15 homeruns in high school. You were always the guy chosen first in PE. People that fit theses descriptions and/or any others that allowed people they didn't know to have clear expectations for them to utilize "god given" talents such as these (or others) inevitably lead to higher levels of disappointment. The unknowns increase the less you know someone. And at the highest levels of achievement - presumably those for which expectations lie amongst those who have strong innate physical or outwordly facing intellectual skill - matter the most. You cannot observe intangibles which make people great, so your expectations fail. You don't know the 17 year old who throws 90 miles an hour enjoys smoking weed more than working on his mechanics or learning the game. You don't know that the kid in your poli sci class who understands why the succession in North Korea hangs so precariously in the balance - has not the drive to develop the ability to translate knowledge into actionable policy. Yet, its also very fun to talk about these people who so obviously failed the expectations we all had for them before they achieved anything.
And then there's me and you. We stand to have strong ability to shirk any abilities that we may have that lead to expectations - obtainable or otherwise. However, we have within our control the ability to leave the game altogether. Eliminate both the downside risk, and any upside. No one knows what you can achieve because your abilities do not fly in anyone's face. No let down there. Your expectations are what you make them out to be, or what (insert close family/friend/significant other) place on you. You don't achieve them and you only have (insert close family/friend/significant other) to imagine what could have been. Luckily, these are the same people who will easiest get past these expectations. Set these expectations low for yourself - or convince yourself failure was out of your hands - and you can leave a smooth life without really going for anything great. No harm no foul.
If you're an average joe, by definition you scored par for the course and no one can say what could have been. If you're Darko Milicic you will never be able to escape public prosecution by every overweight sports fan who ever watched an NBA game. However, since you're not Darko - you never had the scrutiny or expectations that might have allowed you, or pushed you to become the next Tim Duncan, in whatever venue the NBA is in your sphere of life. For most of us it might be optimal to not face these kind of expectations. But for most of us who have no expectations of this kind - it easily can lead to a life of "who knows" rather than "what could have been."
Why so serious? Mostly because you probably have goals that dictate a certain level of seriousness is a necessary - yet not a sufficient condition for success. Who has dictated what success is and what exactly the expectations for you are? If you do not live up to these expectations will you disappoint others? Family? Friends? People you don't know? No one? I might posit that depending from which one of the aforementioned groups your expectations were borne, will determine both your success and your failure. Directly related is the ability of others to ascertain with some degree of certainty your true talents. Whatever they may be - they largely form the basis for expectations that others will have for you. Expectations from outside are not assigned at random, and at a first approximation are assigned according to underlying ability. The accuracy for which these talents are ascribed largely determines ones ability to realize expectations based on some a priori expectations.
I will briefly address those bear expectations by those they do not know before I address what will more directly relate to my readers. You run a 4.3 fourty. You are 6'7". You got a wicked jump shot. You can slang the crack rock. You've let it be known you scored a perfect score on the SAT. You often opine on matters of national security and reveal that you have a nack for all things political. You have true incite on the inner workings of the ECB. You hit 15 homeruns in high school. You were always the guy chosen first in PE. People that fit theses descriptions and/or any others that allowed people they didn't know to have clear expectations for them to utilize "god given" talents such as these (or others) inevitably lead to higher levels of disappointment. The unknowns increase the less you know someone. And at the highest levels of achievement - presumably those for which expectations lie amongst those who have strong innate physical or outwordly facing intellectual skill - matter the most. You cannot observe intangibles which make people great, so your expectations fail. You don't know the 17 year old who throws 90 miles an hour enjoys smoking weed more than working on his mechanics or learning the game. You don't know that the kid in your poli sci class who understands why the succession in North Korea hangs so precariously in the balance - has not the drive to develop the ability to translate knowledge into actionable policy. Yet, its also very fun to talk about these people who so obviously failed the expectations we all had for them before they achieved anything.
And then there's me and you. We stand to have strong ability to shirk any abilities that we may have that lead to expectations - obtainable or otherwise. However, we have within our control the ability to leave the game altogether. Eliminate both the downside risk, and any upside. No one knows what you can achieve because your abilities do not fly in anyone's face. No let down there. Your expectations are what you make them out to be, or what (insert close family/friend/significant other) place on you. You don't achieve them and you only have (insert close family/friend/significant other) to imagine what could have been. Luckily, these are the same people who will easiest get past these expectations. Set these expectations low for yourself - or convince yourself failure was out of your hands - and you can leave a smooth life without really going for anything great. No harm no foul.
If you're an average joe, by definition you scored par for the course and no one can say what could have been. If you're Darko Milicic you will never be able to escape public prosecution by every overweight sports fan who ever watched an NBA game. However, since you're not Darko - you never had the scrutiny or expectations that might have allowed you, or pushed you to become the next Tim Duncan, in whatever venue the NBA is in your sphere of life. For most of us it might be optimal to not face these kind of expectations. But for most of us who have no expectations of this kind - it easily can lead to a life of "who knows" rather than "what could have been."
u talk like a lunatic crackhead on the subway
ReplyDeletealso, full disclosure, i read maybe 5% of this post. long and boring. i'm looking for two and a half men style one liners.
nice.
ReplyDelete